tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post211587129006880145..comments2023-10-16T13:17:17.552+01:00Comments on Being of Sound Mind: A storylucy joyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-35530205920114697332012-06-20T19:52:00.441+01:002012-06-20T19:52:00.441+01:00I didn't predict the ending at all. I was intr...I didn't predict the ending at all. I was intrigued, curious as to where the story/Martha was going. I love your ability to describe places, people, details to build the atmosphere. You observe and write so well, Lucy. I didn't mind that you gave her a name, I get a bit irritated by nameless main characters, I always think the writer just couldn't decide on one!<br />Keep at it, love! xxxxxCurtisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10362184504889147455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-19817738557241418362012-06-18T22:23:15.157+01:002012-06-18T22:23:15.157+01:00I thought the ending was effective. I didn't e...I thought the ending was effective. I didn't expect it. <br />I liked the allusions to her youth, that her body had become 'padded.' It made me wonder who she used to be.<br />The era that the piece is set in wasn't totally obvious to me and I liked that. There were mentions of a cerise mac and the term 'shabby chic', but it could almost have been a Victorian setting, in some ways. There was something a little gothic there and it reminded me a bit if Sarah Waters. Perhaps you could almost play on genre of setting if you developed this further. I can almost imagine a ind of modern day mystery with undertones of classic gothic novel. Hope that doesn't sound weird.<br />You have a talent and it seems to me like it is what you are meant to do. There is a real bite of truth in your writing. xTracy Gloverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01241249836621046253noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-1536197041319646762012-06-18T17:40:29.507+01:002012-06-18T17:40:29.507+01:00Thanks for the tip - I've been looking at the ...Thanks for the tip - I've been looking at the website and I'll see if I can get the magazine from Smiths.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-13970922319756758482012-06-18T17:06:14.217+01:002012-06-18T17:06:14.217+01:00A naughty story, me? I don't have any life exp...A naughty story, me? I don't have any life experience on which to draw experience from for such a tale. Hahahahaha.<br /><br />No journal for me, I know it'd be a great thing to do. I have bought journals, and pens to keep in my bag for this purpose. Organisation is not my strong point though.<br /><br />Thanks for the supportive comments, I have really been encouraged by everyone.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-6583999793453419562012-06-18T11:34:16.155+01:002012-06-18T11:34:16.155+01:00I just bought Grazia actually and read the winning...I just bought Grazia actually and read the winning entry, which once it got going, I did enjoy. That said, I always LOVE your writing. You can definitely go somewhere with the short stories - have you ever read Mslexia? They have quite frequent writing competitions with good prizes, I think you'd be perfect. xLakota [Faith Hope and Charity Shopping]https://www.blogger.com/profile/04247624645636227130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-33492964721544811132012-06-17T17:40:19.054+01:002012-06-17T17:40:19.054+01:00Amor,
your story was so vivid and entertaing.Felt...Amor,<br /> your story was so vivid and entertaing.Felt like I was there with Martha!<br />Kept me in suspense. Now can you write a naughty story for me?<br />Keep writting your great inspirational stories! I'm sure you keep a journal of everything you come across.<br />Besotesdoradadamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01115732129336500002noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-26640745401179898582012-06-15T19:52:59.493+01:002012-06-15T19:52:59.493+01:00I read the winning entry today. It's excellent...I read the winning entry today. It's excellent. Co-incidentally, it's about a woman returning to her home town for a funeral.<br />If I were to pick one fault with it (nothing's perfect) I'd say it ended without leaving me wanting to find out more.<br />Would you like me to send you a photocopy of it?lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-76771312114473535342012-06-15T19:37:37.415+01:002012-06-15T19:37:37.415+01:00Good advice. As long as you enjoy what you're ...Good advice. As long as you enjoy what you're doing it's worth keeping at it. There's always room for improvement and I am going to work on my weaknesses now.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-31116473068528780122012-06-15T19:27:11.062+01:002012-06-15T19:27:11.062+01:00Thanks Clare!
I read the winning entry today, seem...Thanks Clare!<br />I read the winning entry today, seems the Grazia bastards picked a worthy winner. <br />The winning entry is about a woman returning to her home town for a funeral - fancy that.<br /><br />I just need to keep writing down things I see, hopefully everything else will improve.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-80106180143708650712012-06-15T14:20:40.779+01:002012-06-15T14:20:40.779+01:00I’m not going to be able to read the winning entry...I’m not going to be able to read the winning entry in Grazia, as we can’t get it here, but I have read the runners up entries and I have to say your entry was equally as good.Little Nellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11862657943846727987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-56530969732350611232012-06-15T12:23:19.342+01:002012-06-15T12:23:19.342+01:00Dear Lucy, your story is so entertaining and it ha...Dear Lucy, your story is so entertaining and it has a wide appeal on so many levels!You made my imagination work through visual delight and you led me to the end with suspance!!I'm so sorry that I can't write even a good comment in english, I hope you get me, I only want to say that I really love to read it and I'm sorry that your story didn't win, but these things happen to me all the time, we have to keep on doing what we love best and sometime is better to continue to improve our skills than be a one time winner.<br />Good job!!<br />Lots of loveAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-32617360264022927482012-06-15T11:09:00.994+01:002012-06-15T11:09:00.994+01:00Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed your story and de...Thank you for sharing! I enjoyed your story and definitely preferred it to the original paragraph, you have a must better, less pretentious style. AND I prefer your entry to the runners up... what to do those Grazia bastards know?!Miss Simmonds Sayshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15655954003085670507noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-81298865364319909772012-06-15T09:53:36.501+01:002012-06-15T09:53:36.501+01:00Thanks Wendz. I think you and I see the world thro...Thanks Wendz. I think you and I see the world through a similar lens, picking up on minor details. I would have welcomed any criticisms you had, but I know there's plenty of room for all-round improvement.<br />We are all our own biggest critics, I can't ever imagine being completely satisfied with my writing - that's a good thing I supposelucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-49351275243114739792012-06-15T09:49:14.622+01:002012-06-15T09:49:14.622+01:00thank-you Kylie! As the entry was meant to be a fi...thank-you Kylie! As the entry was meant to be a first chapter, I did want to leave plenty to elaborate on. I must knuckle down now and write more often, I'm so impatient with things. Any hobby I partake in usually gets dropped pretty quickly because I can't cope with having to keep beavering away to get better. <br />Like with everything, time is an issue. I feel so guilty writing away when the house is a mess, the boys need entertaining and there are endless tasks to complete.<br />Not to mention needing to find a proper job!lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-52899262042397427962012-06-15T09:43:14.861+01:002012-06-15T09:43:14.861+01:00Thanks Max! I think I'd have to take the story...Thanks Max! I think I'd have to take the story to a dark and humorous place next (somehow).lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-63125572916489861202012-06-15T09:31:19.552+01:002012-06-15T09:31:19.552+01:00Steerforth said what I think...that you are great ...Steerforth said what I think...that you are great at setting a scene, at drawing the reader into it. Your blog posts are like that too. Always like reading what you've written. And, echoing Kylie, I take the time to thoroughly read your blog posts instead of skimming like I do with most others.<br /><br />I won't offer a word of criticism Lucy because, first, I think you are awesome for entering the competition and, secondly, hugely brave for putting your rejected entry here for us to read and, thirdly, there isn't much to criticise anyway. I liked the piece.<br /><br />Bravo. Keep at it because your writing is good and can only get better with practice.Wendyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14257653410136495378noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-58247123134666007102012-06-15T00:56:57.572+01:002012-06-15T00:56:57.572+01:00Hi Lucy, I presume Rosmund Lupton is a published w...Hi Lucy, I presume Rosmund Lupton is a published writer, but I have to say that if that was an opening chapter of a novel, I would probably put it back on the shelf. It didn't entice me at all. I agree with Steerforth's comment on your piece being better. You've got me wondering about all the stuff that had gone down between Martha and her son before his death, how he died, etc etc so that's got to say something about your writing hasn't it...<br />As for not having a broad vocabulary, jeez! I've just had to look up equidistant in the dictionary!<br />I'm a bit of a speedy reader so I tend to fly over most things I read, not your blog though Lucy, I always read it properly xKyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10258543009688502584noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-22677402169181033402012-06-14T20:19:34.395+01:002012-06-14T20:19:34.395+01:00So great to see this up here luce! Your great at c...So great to see this up here luce! Your great at creating atmostphere, it's really vivid to me, and i really want to know what happens next xMaxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18387407423793099797noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-72140739019623177672012-06-14T19:34:48.876+01:002012-06-14T19:34:48.876+01:00Thank-you Vix! I actually saw a lady at Bath stati...Thank-you Vix! I actually saw a lady at Bath station (when I went to the Spa with Clare) wearing a cerise mac with the belt trailing close to the dirty toilet floor!<br />Labels sticking out is another - do I tell them or not?<br />I'm so flattered by your comment, I feel encouraged to continue writing down my observations.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-10871803454307646282012-06-14T19:15:59.776+01:002012-06-14T19:15:59.776+01:00Thank-you for doing what I hoped a few people woul...Thank-you for doing what I hoped a few people would do - read it thoroughly and offer pointers for improvement.<br />I certainly didn't publish this as a 'look what I've done!' post. <br />Commas are the bane of my life. I'm aware that a few poor punctuation habits crop up in my writing, and my vocabulary isn't as broad as I'd like it to be. <br />I didn't even consider leaving the main character anonymous, but it would have been better. <br />Nit-picking is necessary if I'm to improve, and I think I have the best bunch of nit-pickers helping me here.<br /><br />I didn't write anything before starting this blog last year, so I now need to make up for lost time. Thanks again!lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-54322439637568894912012-06-14T19:06:04.373+01:002012-06-14T19:06:04.373+01:00Thanks for all the encouragement you've always...Thanks for all the encouragement you've always given me, I would never have done this a year ago. There will always be an element of politeness when commenting on other people's blogs, but if people keep returning, you must be doing something right. I definitely wanted constructive criticism, and I'd rather get it from people I admire (like you!).<br /><br />Maybe I should try some poetry, it's been a while since I last got poetic.<br /><br />I think finding a style helps, and poetry is a great way to exercise your writing skills.lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-44965604903834719222012-06-14T19:03:47.532+01:002012-06-14T19:03:47.532+01:00I never felt the twist at the end coming and when ...I never felt the twist at the end coming and when it did it hit me right in the belly. You are a fantastic writer, Lucy, I truly mean that. Many blogs I read I do tend to skim read but I always savour every word you write.<br />Your powers of observation as phenomenal, the number of times I see a belt trailing on the street and hesitate as to whether to step in and tell the wearer. <br />Keep up the great work, you'll be placed next time, I'm sure of it!<br />You rock. xxxxVixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05263970600699632661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-54530145147202090352012-06-14T19:00:09.247+01:002012-06-14T19:00:09.247+01:00You're so kind Krista, and you know your writi...You're so kind Krista, and you know your writing is far from shit, it's honest, dark and light in equal measure and unique.<br />I will chat to you tomorrow, can't wait. xlucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-5360083169373512842012-06-14T18:56:27.056+01:002012-06-14T18:56:27.056+01:00Thank-you for taking the time to leave such a deta...Thank-you for taking the time to leave such a detailed comment.<br />It wasn't a brave decision to share the story because I feel it's a bit like a rough draft. Maybe if I was delighted with the finished effort it would be brave to leave myself open to criticism!<br />I completely agree with what you said about the ending, I was not satisfied with it at all.<br /><br />This is the first 'story' I've written since my early teens, so there is much room for experimentation, improvement and learning. <br />I'd also like my own laptop, some uninterrupted time, and of course - a room of my own!lucy joyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04863146546863419637noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7316895433129716754.post-79804384351893538292012-06-14T17:54:00.760+01:002012-06-14T17:54:00.760+01:00I thought it was better than the other person'...I thought it was better than the other person's opening paragraph. You're very good at creating a scene - I really felt as if I was in the cafe too - and the main character felt like a real person. I agree with Nell, that making her anonymous might have been even better.<br /><br />There were a couple of times when I felt that using commas interupted the rhythm of your words, e.g, in the sentence <i>"Martha slowly looked around, she needed to find her bearings."</i> I think the break is too long for a comma and needs a full stop or semi-colon. Sorry if that's nit-picking, but I thought highly enough of your writing to read it closely, thinking about every sentence.<br /><br />You definitely have a talent.Steerforthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07627936539372313828noreply@blogger.com