Sunday

Yesterday, with just one reasonably compliant son in tow, we went to Cardiff. Usually we have the two younger boys, and trips to the city involve a picnic at Bute Park, a museum visit to look at the wolly mammoth and albatross (these are the only animals the boys ever mention when we say 'museum', despite there being some enormous dinosaur displays).

 My eldest is frying in Turkey with his dad, and middle son being spoilt staying with his nan in Newport, so we decided to venture into the part of the city where money talks. 

I've clearly been living in the past. The very recently developed St Davids II shopping centre houses shops the like of which  I thought Cardiff would never see. Firstly, Jo Malone  -  I was so tempted to spend the £40 I'd put aside for shoes and school trousers on a Lime Basil and Madarin candle, but I found the strength to put it back. LK Bennett - bereft of customers, even window shoppers. Cath Kidston - newly opened and a frenzy of activity. Even MEN were in there, holding up floral accessories and grinning. Not that I went in, I'm not a fan of her designs. 

We walked through the arcade and it was like a mid-nineties teen film set. 'American Candy' was selling small bags of coconut M&M's for £3. Krispy Kreme was bustling; huge queues, kids leaving - happily sporting  little paper hats emblazoned with the logo - great advertising ploy. Adults waltzed out of there with boxes of doughnuts - happy to pay £10, but probably think a whole chicken should cost no more than £2.50. A stall selling milk shakes made with bars of your favourite chocolate had a fair sized queue. The Disney shop was rammed full of spoilt kids (I actually like the shop, but have some very painful memories which I'll share one day). Nobody looked particularly happy or serene, it was almost like they were shopping and 'having coffee' so that they could go home and update their social networking forums to say 'just had a Krispy Kreme, NOM NOM, LOL, greedy!'

What was I doing there, then - just the same I suppose, doing something for the sake of it. I did have plenty of 'aren't humans weird?' moments - one being watching children thrash around in a large pool inside giant inflatable orbs . Another;  a tourist dressed in brown polo shirt, navy silk trousers, black patent leather shoes and white towelling sports socks, posing unashamedly as his partner took photographs of him with incredibly dull backgrounds. Maybe he had initially packed a suitcase with casual/sporty/smart clothes and now was left with just a small selection of items from each category to wear.

I'd started the day in an almost foul mood. Readers, male and female alike -  I'm sure you recognise that snappy/terse tone, face like 'a slapped arse/ripped dap' (Welsh one, that) deep sighs, wistful glances - accompanied with an "I'm FINE,  just tired" upon being asked sweetly "everything OK, love?". 

You don't? Either you're an angel, or you live with one - lucky you.

Being out on what became a reasonably sunny Sunday did lift the pale shadow of unnecessary doom and gloom. 

I let my son out of the pushchair, (it can't be comfortable)  he made a beeline for a giant metal ornamental structure outside John Lewis. He was in his element; playing peek-a-boo, trying to scale it or use it as a slide, it was hard to feel anything but happy.

The rest of the day went on to be thoroughly pleasant, as did the evening.  I beat my running  personal best  by 2 minutes. We had a lovely curry for dinner, a longer evening of peace than usual as a worn out toddler settled down before 7 pm, very satisfying.

This morning I planned to do some grocery shopping, I checked my bank balance first - NO MONEY. Put the washing on the line, settled down with a cuppa - RAIN.  My right knee is smarting, that'll teach me for trying to canter instead of trot. OH bought UNSALTED butter - he's in for it when he gets home from work. The foul mood threatened to make a comeback. Threatened.

I thought to myself  "I'm going to get a full-time job, we can't go on like this".

Then I surveyed the photographic evidence of yesterday's happier moments. Children are worth going without food and candles for, aren't they?

p.s  If you do ever visit Cardiff, this brilliant website lets you know the only shops worth going in. I'm sure the other shops have nothing you can't see in your local shopping centre.