Wednesday, 6 June 2012

Premonitions, Scratch-Cards, Shelters

Yesterday we enjoyed the wettest, coldest, smallest and most modest 'street' party imaginable. Huddled under a skilfully erected tarpaulin shelter, we learned a lot...
...rain doesn't matter when you're aged between 7 months and 10 years old.
Crisps are all you need to fuel children.

Who really cares what anyone thinks about the royal family?  They're here, they're normal people masquerading as some kind of other-worldly beings, and I don't envy them at all. Maybe I envy Middleton's waistline, but that's it. Waving, having a Maureen from Psychoville hairdo, listening to obsequious and nervous idiots telling you stuff you couldn't care less about - a tough job.

The best thing I read about the whole Jubilee shenanigans was this post.

Maureen, Psychoville

At the corner shop this afternoon, I was overwhelmed by a sudden and irresistible urge to purchase a lottery scratch-card. Gambling isn't an addiction I can imagine fully immersing myself in. Maybe alcoholism,.definitely food, possibly class B drugs. Throwing money around chasing unattainable larger sums of money, only to throw that away if a miracle occurs - no thanks.

I remember my mother's friend saying her agoraphobic sister had a mild  prescription painkiller dependency - "she pops a couple of Co-Proxamol and then she's on QVC buying all sorts of crap".  That sounds great fun. Maybe I'll try that when I'm elderly.

I was in the shop quite a while, rather like a 1950's housewife, I while away plenty of time there, eager to catch a bit of juicy gossip, or witness some blog-worthy display of uncouth human behaviour.

The green veg at the shop had turned grey - I offered to make some soup for Saj to sell at a pound per cup. My entrepreneurial skills know no bounds.

Saj declined my offer, and I won NOTHING on the scratch-card.The customers were mainly purchasing cigarettes and alcohol (recession? What recession!).
Back to the drawing board for me.

Earlier this evening, I picked Liam up from his dad's house.
Liam was supposed to be camping this week with his friend, dad, and dad's partner. As Liam's dad was playing golf, I chatted to his partner about the abandoned camping trip. Much bickering had ensued following an attempt to erect the tent in gale-force winds and torrential rain on a sodden field. Liam's dad was determined to get the tent up, determined to laugh in the face of wind, rain, mud, grumpy pre-teens and a simpering, damp, smelly coquettish dog.

"Men!" I exclaimed in a cliché and over-the-top tone. "Why do they feel the need have to  prove themselves by  providing an inferior shelter, when they have a perfectly sturdy,cosy and functional home?".

I was, of course, referring to the tarpaulin shelters which took Rob, Ken and Stuart (plus various other gentlemen in the street who rubbed their chins, squinted and laughed before retiring to the safety of their brick-built castles) two hours to tether in place

I must admit though, despite much tutting, eye-rolling and negativity from us ladies, it was great being outdoors; watching the children play happily and mingling with people I was barely on nodding terms with before.

I also got to meet Sue, the lady I said this about in a previous post:

"A new addition to my 'I've seen you before' file, intrigues me. I reckon I'll get to know her one day, she seems worth getting to know. I like her clothes and the way she looks up, not just around. I'd say she's in her mid forties, lives alone, and suffers from depression - her eyes look quite sad, like they're desperate to be rinsed out with cold water and shown a bright picture."

Turns out, she has recently moved into the next street, and is very pleasant indeed.

 Sue is joining a few friends and I for drinks tomorrow night. My premonition was right. Fancy that!


  1. Your Jubilee celebration I guess would be akin to our Presidents day, and who cares about that I don't even get the day off from work. Our 4th of July is only cool because it's the one day it's ok to blow shit up and get really drunk and eat way took much potato salad and hamburgers. I like the 4th :)
    Your day outside with the kids playing and chats with new peeps sounds really pleasant and yeah for a night of drinks with the girls. Those rule! I think I'd like to pop pills and shop on QVC too...noway...sounds depressing. I'd rather just die young, but not now. :)
    I got stuff to do....I just need to figure out what that stuff is.

  2. My birthday is July 4th. I should celebrate with you every year.

  3. I'm going to a belated Jubilee party on Sunday - fairy cakes and Pimms. Should be fine.

    We were supposed to have a sort of street party last Friday for Neighbour's Party day, but no one realised it was on that day so we're going to have a mini do for our nice neighbours later in June.

  4. For some reason I got it into my head yesterday that I wanted to buy a lottery scratch card! I never buy them. Must be something in the air. I often wonder at the fact there is always money for cigarettes and alcohol in a recession. Mind you, I always find some for a bottle of wine so who am I to judge!!

    xx Jazzy

  5. I love street parties: somehow they feel slightly decadent even when they just involve warm wine and soggy sandwiches :)

  6. Hello Lucy:
    Crisps and Coke [of one sort or another]. If only the whole of the Jubilee celebrations had been restricted to just that, then colossal sums of money would have been saved, enough to buy us all out of recession, make us all winners on scratch cards and with a little left over for Greece and Spain.

    As it is, thankfully, we were spared any of it and should not, spoilsports that we are, have relished sitting in a dripping tent pretending to have fun on Her Majesty's behalf whilst she, having escaped from that ridiculous barge, we are after all in the C21, was most likely toasting herself, in the dry, before a roaring fire and sipping Earl Grey.

  7. Psychoville on! I've often looked at QE's hair and wondered why oh why she never changes that 'do'. Same for her daughter - actually P. Anne's is even worse. I wonder what's hiding in that mad nest.

    Painkiller dependancy sucks Lucy. (And I know you know that and were joking.) My Mum was addicted - went into hospital last year for 10 days to be weaned off them..went through cannot take one pill - even paracetamol. Just has to suffer and endure pain. No fun at all. Bleeding stomach, always lightheaded, headachy, dull, tired, lethargic...messed her up totally. V. sad.

  8. We were away at inlaws so missed most of the Jubilee madness - although I have eaten myself into a bad way and have had a dodgy stomach since we got home. I blame the eton mess with 'boomerang' (boy2's version of meringue). Our street did do a big lunch once though, that was quite enjoyable.

    I'm no particular fan of the Royals, but it is all strangely fascinating, and I did allow myself an 'aww' over the picture that's been doing the rounds - the Queen and Philip as 20 somethings, and today. She does indeed have the same hair (and brooch), but they do appear to still be very much in love, which is always lovely to see. I want to be that old couple one day (minus the barge nonsense etc)

  9. Maureen from Psychoville, you've got it spot on there, Lucy! It does make me laugh when people refer to Liz as a "style icon". Saw none of it although the blasted affair was a good excuse for a Sunday evening piss-up.
    I'm wildly excited about going away tomorrow and setting up camp, there's little to beat cracking open a can at 10am after struggling with an awning, no wonder my mates say I should have been born a man.
    Have a brilliant time with Sue!
    Loads of love. xxxxxx

  10. Great to let the kids play in the rain; it’s only water after all. Thankfully we didn’t have the Jubilee rammed down our throats here in Lanzarote, though we did go out for lunch in red white and blue bits from our wardrobe, just to show willing. I actually admire the Queen, she’s been doing the job since the year I was born and I can’t imagine anyone else in her place.

  11. Ahahaha, Maureen from Psychoville, I love that show!
    I never seen any of the Royals as style icons.
    I did enjoy the free cakes and tea spiked with booze though.
    Yay, for drinks with the prostis!
    About my post,You make a true point, I should take it as a compliment. You know I am a Chola so I'm always going to go about things the wrong way. I have a lot of passion like Charley Sheen.

  12. Well, maybe you aren't going to win a fortune on a scratch card, but you ARE destined to make a great new friend! Isn't it odd how you can catch sight of someone, or hear about them, way before you ever meet them properly, and get a feeling they're your sort of person? And then you meet them - and they are!
    I'm glad you braved the rain for your street party. Kids only need crisps and each other to have a ball, and adults only need crisps, each other and booze! xxxx

  13. In case you didn't know, don't plan on tripping on co-proxamol. Acc. to my GP hey are no longer on offer, too many people have used them to top themselves.

    Get plastered with your new friend instead.

    Thanks for the mention, that's very kind of you.

  14. Your whole life sounds like a cross between an Alan Bennet play, A Mike Leigh film and the League Of Gentlemen. I'm a tad jealous xxx

  15. maybe I'll start reading your blog in my head with an Alan Bennet voice narrating

  16. A little bit of irreverance. Thank God. x

  17. I didn't find relevancy of Scratch Card topic with your article


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