Mum to toddler (OH'S Uncle over heard in Sainsbury's)
"Oi, it's not 'uh?' It's 'wha'?'
Couple in park with children
"Your mum can't have the kids tonight? Fuck's sake!"
"Well, you get wrecked tonight and I'll babysit, and I'll get wrecked tomorrow night instead is it?"
"I'm getting fucking wrecked this afternoon, tonight and tomorrow so you do what the fuck you like"
Old guy in supermarket, Weymouth
"I'm not George Michael you know. And that's a clean joke"
(he went on to repeat this line at least 10 times to anyone he made eye contact with, often repeating it if they didn't pretend to laugh)
Posh toy shop owner to my grandfather (after he purchased a gyroscope for my dad when he was little)
"Have fun with yours sir"
Posh driving instructor (to my dad on approach to traffic lights)
"Hover sir, hover" (foot over brakes)
Dad's colleague discussing his hangover
"See, you can't drink whiskey like beer can you?"
Friend's sister to hairdresser
"I've always wanted to work in a saloon"
Friend to my dad making small talk
"Fireplace World, I wonder what they'll be selling there?"
Mum to OH and I
"So, his name isn't Baracko Barma, it's Barack Obama is it?"
Overheard 2 ladies in town (my mum and OH were not familiar with mealtimes being referred to as 'having food' until moving here)
"I want food, I do"
"I've had food, I have"
Mum on John Travolta
"He belongs to the Church of Science Fiction"
Mum telling me what she had for tea
"We ordered a pizza from Dominic's"
Petrol garage attendant (it was around 2 am, in her defence)
"What flavour chocolate milkshake do you want love?"
to be continued...