Sunday, 27 February 2011

That awful new advert for Disneyworld is on, kids screaming and fighting back tears as their parents reveal they're going there on holiday. I can't think of an advert I like at the moment, one of the worst is the Dove ad with obviously American ladies who've had their voices dubbed with some really cringeworthy regional British accents. I try to press 'mute' on the remote control during ad breaks, but don't always manage. Even the 'good' adverts are only good once. 

My home

I smell vile, I put the oven on, forgetting there was a tray of oil still in there. My hair smells like burnt potatoes, and my clothes smell like the vent from the chip shop.

 My eldest is still at his dad's, middle son has gone out for a walk with my parents, youngest is still relishing the fact he can open and close doors, switch the landing light on, and post debris, small toys and junk mail through the letterbox. 
I tried a bit of housework, but I genuinely find it difficult to clean the house when there are people in and out making more mess.

Shoot from the hip

I'd like a giant skip out the back yard to fill with the entire contents of my house, and to start again with only stuff that  I "know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful" as per William Morris' advice. There are very few things I believe to be beautiful, but maybe they'd stand out more if I disposed of the 'ugly' stuff. The sheer amount of plastic in my home is unsettling, but in my defence I have purchased very few plastic items. I try not to buy new toys for the children, there's no need. If all the toy manufacturers in the world stopped production today, it's be about a million years before the world was bereft of toys. I don't buy storage items either, just seem to acquire them. My reputation as a bit of a scrounger means that every Tom, Dick and Harry uses me as their first port of call for dumping unwanted items. Even my eldest son's dad gives us stuff, even his neighbour does. They must think we live in a shack made out of Ikea cast-offs, broken chairs and wonky cupboards (oh, I actually DO).

Waste not, want not

When I worked in special schools, it infuriated me how much furniture was dumped. What made it worse was the 'new' furniture was usually worse quality than what was being put on a skip, left to get wet and rot so it wasn't fit to be salvaged. I also get infuriated by shameless scrounging, in other words 'Freecycle'. People don't seem to understand that by taking something for nothing, it is a two way deal. You get a free item, and the donor gets something taken off their hands without having to drive to the tip, or wait ages to try and sell it. "I'm desperate for new bedroom furniture, must be solid pine, modern, in excellent condition, and I don't have a car,so please bring it to me, carry it up the stairs and put all my brand new clothes in there"  (why don't you just go and steal it instead?)


Time to start lunch, really don't fancy roast chicken today, I'd like beef. I may have to make a cake or crumble too, it's my last chance to eat sugary stuff, I'm not allowing myself to eat like a pig from tomorrow. I have to lose weight because I can't afford new clothes. It's a good job I no longer work with Sam, a boy with Autism who had an uncanny knack of telling you what you DIDN'T want to hear. "You're a big fat lady Lucy, you've got the moustache and 'gusting lips".  I happened to be wearing lipstick, an ill fitting top, and was sporting the tiniest light brown hairs at the corners of my mouth.  The teacher, who was in her late thirties but didn't seem to have changed since her Uni days, wasn't a big fan of showering or using deodorant. Summer used to be particularly unpleasant in the body odour department, we talked about dropping hints regarding personal hygiene. No need, Sam to the rescue, "Sharon, you stink". Honesty certainly was the best policy, a can of Sure deodorant appeared in the cupboard 'for everyone to use' the very next day.

1 comment:

  1. I would cry if I had to go to Disneyworld too.

    And thanks for the chicken in a can picture. Now I know what I'll be seeing in my nightmares tonight.


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